wanna go halves on a baby?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
