I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
