This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
