Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
