Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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