I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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