Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
