During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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