He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
