I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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