erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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