and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You are the jesus of drinking
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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