Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's not cheating when I paid for it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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