i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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