i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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