so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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