shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
