just come out here and I will go home with you...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
