Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
