I look better un-naked...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
