Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
