also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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