I will die if light touches me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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