Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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