The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
