think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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