I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
