oh god the rape fog is back!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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