WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
