the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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