I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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