i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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