best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
