You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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