i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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