Yo dont text me then not text me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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