Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
