you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
