People in love make me want to vomit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS