You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
