Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.