let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.