I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?