i think i have herpe
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it