Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
