I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
