the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
