Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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