She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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