Can Purell be used as lube?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
