Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm really busy with my period
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