I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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