He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
