her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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