There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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