conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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