Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I will be naked everywhere
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
